Saturday, March 03, 2007

Twin Peaks Cafe - North Bend, WA

Twin Peaks Cafe
aka Twede's Cafe
137 W. North Bend Way
North Bend, WA

Oh, where to begin! What a piece of work, this Cafe. We stopped in this picturesque little mountain community late on a Sunday afternoon, on our way for a long route into Montana. We had always heard of the place, as it was featured prominently in that weirdest-of-weird TV shows from 1990, Twin Peaks. Agent Cooper simply loved the cherry pie. Ok - the original burned down years ago, and has been rebuilt but we're told the new one looks just like the old.

The only menu items made available to us were burgers - we got there around 6:30 PM and they close at 7:00, so the only choice is burgers. Fine. I like burgers. And to their credit, they ave a lot of burgers to choose from. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger and fries, and Anne went for the fish burger (with fries as well). Not exactly cheap, given the divey look of the place - $8.99, with another $1.99 for a single fill of soda.

While waiting for the food, we couldn't help but nearly wretch at the filth of the place! My GOD it was filthy - the floor was filthy, the walls, the tables, even the chef - a twenty-something who came to our table with the dirtiest clothes I've ever seen on a person older than 6. He was covered in what appeared to be days worth of spilled meals on his shirt and pants.

Lest you think I'm kidding, here's a quick shot I took of the tile floor by our table:

Note the floor sweeper machine to the right, clearly not being used. I mean this place was FILTHY. All around the walls and counters are zillions of Tweety birds, all as filthy as the floor. Could be cute if they were clean, but I wouldn't want to touch any of them for fear of getting botulism.

So the food was delivered, by the filthy chef with as much food on his person as on the plates he delivered. The first thing I noticed was the slimy greasy soggy long skinny French fries. We each ate a few, and we're no prudes when it comes to greasy fries. But my God these things were so awful we couldn't eat them. My burger was ok - just ok. For $8.99 I expect something closer to Red Robin or TGI Fridays. This was more like a carnival burger - simply fried, plopped on a bun with the usual stuff.

Anne's fish burger was good - had some sort of really yummy sauce and cheese, and compared to my burger and those gawdawful fries, wasn't all that bad.

The rest of the menu looked about the same - omelettes for just under 10 bucks, and other pricey breakfast and lunch items. And other than the myriad of filthy Tweety birds, not much else in the way of decor - just a fairly quaint old diner-style place like a million others. If it were clean, it would actually be kinda cozy. We were not able to sample any of that legendary cherry pie, as there was none to be had. But for Twin Peaks fans, there is a large array of memorabilia from the show in the back hall by the restrooms - photos, news clippings and autographs from the days when Twin Peaks was the hottest thing on TV.

In summary, maybe it was just the 'end of the day blues' that made the floors, walls and tables so filthy (oh, and the chef too), but I would be hard pressed to EVER want to eat here again!

Our ratings:

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